Struggles

Lately I am feeling very defeated in several regards. The job hunt hasn't turned any golden pages for me, and I'm feeling a bit lonely just being here all the time without much to do. I really want to have a job I can rely somewhat on, at least one that pays on time and doesn't treat me like a pile of dog poo. Still, no regrets on leaving the worst three years of my life known as my job at Sonny's. I took a risk, and so far I've made it. I'm still breathing, still eating, still have a place to lay my head.
With that being said, I know that God's providing for me. The problem is, I just don't feel joy or peace, and its killing me spiritually. Sitting here on my butt hoping for the right opportunity isn't cutting it. I work because it gives me peace and a chance to get out of my house, and I like serving people and making their day bright. I miss the regular customers over at Sonny's, and I still see a few of them ocassionally, which they all tell me it isn't the same over there or that they miss me taking their orders. I miss the opportunity of learning new skills and the challenge of work. I fell in love with cooking after my run at Sonny's and it helped boost up my food IQ. I miss the inside jokes of a tight knit crew, and making my coworkers spit out their drinks with a good laugh (believe me, I did that all the time to one of my coworkers.. haha!), and I miss getting that paycheck every other week.
On top of that, Kevin's wanting to switch churches, and I just don't feel like going anymore. I get weary of change and saying goodbye and starting over. We love Grace Assembly, don't get me wrong, but Kevin's been visiting another church where he feels God is leading, and I personally don't feel the same. Yet I don't have a car... yeah I know I know.. but right now I just feel all the roadblocks coming up and every ounce of me is telling me to resist change and starting over, because after so many shifts in life, I'm getting weary of all of this "traveling". I feel like I have screwed up too greatly in my own right not taking advantage of my previous jobs and my finances to get myself off the ground. I really want to be liberated from all of this mess I've got myself tangled up in, first from losing my social security card and letting my license expire and then letting my account close, so now I'm not sure where to start. I know that I don't want to be the idiot failure anymore. I need to liberate myself from all this that is keeping me away from what I need and what I want. I also need someone who will be an "ass kicker". Oh my gosh. Kim just said that word. I don't mean it in a rude sense, I mean it in an accountability sense, someone who isn't family but a really really good friend that will be strength to my weakness, nag me until I get things right, knows how to get me through my struggles, and encourages me every step of the way.
Hopefully if soon I shall land a job, then I will take the right steps for once. I'm worried that I will continue to lose my mind over my paycheck and make stupid decisions again.